5 Tips for Surviving Back to School When School is Remote/Online
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If your children are going back to school remotely and you’re feeling overwhelmed, or maybe it’s like Groundhog day everyday - you are definitely not alone! Your head may be buzzing with cycles of to-do lists, laundry, dishes, and homework help, but know this- even though it feels like this is going to last forever, it won’t. If you’re trying to break through the paralyzing feelings of overwhelm associated with your children’s distance learning, this article has a few strategies that may help you break through the rut and make your days a little lighter, so keep reading!
According to UNESCO data, school closures have affected 1.57 billion children and youth in more than 190 countries - that’s 90% of the world’s student population. With so many schools still uncertain about the months and even school year ahead, we are having to adjust quickly to not knowing what the future holds.
Now, this isn’t just a transition for school-aged children, but for everyone in the family. In my private practice, I’ve been working with clients on overcoming the stress of going back to school, for both parents and kids. Here are my top 5 tips to survive back to school (remotely) AKA distance learning, for you and your family:
1. Structure
Maintain a structured schedule for everyone in the family that leaves room for flexibility. The more you can maintain a routine in your day, the more it’s going to help you and your family with mental health. It can be difficult, but going to bed early enough and at the same time each day can help you wake up feeling your best. Be intentional about scheduling breaks away from screens, and outside, as much as possible. Even just taking 5 minutes in nature to breathe and re-energize can be helpful according to studies. For your smaller kiddos who struggle with the concept of time, use an egg timer to invite more structure and help them visually track the time allocated for tasks.
At the same time, don’t be too rigid about structure. You don’t want your kids to feel like they are in prison! Even small things that spark a feeling of spontaneity can help with boredom, such as having breakfast for dinner, or getting one night to play all the video games they want, will delight your children and also let them know that you value their fun as much as you value their education. Know that it’s okay to break the rules from time to time to let off a little steam.
2. Create a comfortable workspace
Stress is bound to happen for everyone at home, but chronic stress can lead to all kinds of health-related complications. From more students struggling with back pain and dentists reporting sudden rises in cracked teeth due to excessive clenching and grinding, it’s clear that recent stress has had a negative impact on our bodies. This means that creating comfortable workspaces for your children is even more important.
Remember that adult-sized desks and kitchen tables are not designed for small bodies and can be painful or uncomfortable for them. Make sure laptops are propped up to eye height, and shorter legs have a place for feet to rest so they aren’t dangling in the air. If possible, allocate one area of your home for school-based activities and designate other areas for play, self care, etc. One of my favorite ideas is to create a “self-soothing” corner where kids can go anytime they need to unwind - be sure to include art supplies, books, soft blankets, relaxing music, fidgety toys, a yummy smelling essential oil diffuser, and anything else that helps your child feel at ease. Also be sure there’s plenty of air circulation in your primary area for home school, or consider investing in a fan or air filter. These small changes add up to make a big difference when it comes to the physical impact schooling from home can have on our bodies.
3. Self care
Although you may already have your self-care routine and workspace figured out, try to prioritize doing the same for your children. Remember, this is all very new to them and can be very over-stimulating and stressful. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend doing the following:
Order blue light blocking glasses - to reduce any headaches and eye fatigue.
Check their computer and phone screens to reduce screen brightness. This is also a great opportunity to discuss with your children some of the pros and cons of using digital devices, especially if you had previously limited their screen time at home.
Encourage frequent movement and stretching - maybe even schedule in short yoga breaks! These are great moments to bond and check in with your children throughout the day. These short bursts of exercise work wonders for mood and energy levels - a great way to perk up the whole family during a busy workday.
Eat for brain power and consume nutrient-rich foods often. (If you’d like to learn more, I am a big fan of the work of Drew Ramsey, M.D. when it comes to nutritional psychiatry and food’s impact on mental health.) Get creative! Consider a snack station, or customized snack boxes that contain snacks for the entire day- so that they don’t need to ask you every time they need a snack.
Have fidgets by the desk if you find them helpful. These can be especially useful for kids who are feeling some anxiety, or those who need something sensory to help stay focused.
4. Communicate
Communicate with your teachers about your concerns. If you feel your child needs more time on an assignment, ask if that’s possible. Teachers are experienced with making accommodations for students based on their needs. Check in with your child daily or weekly and listen to their experiences and concerns. A feelings chart is a great way to help children (and adults) articulate their feelings!
Even if you feel short on time, it is so important to engage in active listening with your child and to use your body language to show that you are there to listen (e.g. eye contact, headphones out). Try not to jump in and cut them off while they speak, or rush into problem-solving mode too quickly. Sometimes, kids just want to have their feelings and opinions heard. If you do need to provide constructive feedback, make sure to also reward what is going well, before problem-solving what isn’t. Remember that you are a role model after all, and that positive communication sets a good example for everyone in the family to learn from.
5. Compassion - for the kids and for yourself, too.
Adjusting your expectations during this never-before-seen pandemic era is vital. Kids may not be able to thrive in the ways you are used to seeing, or they may need time to adjust. Feeling compassion and patience from you as their parents will make all the difference. It’s also important to have compassion for yourself and for those moments when you feel like you’re not winning as a parent.
Keep in mind that winning in this season may simply be not killing your kids, and that’s ok. 😂Let go of the rigid idea that being a good parent means every meal has to be homemade and organic, or that all days are supposed to be stress-free. Normalize that it’s okay to not be ok. Encourage your children to speak up when they feel stressed/anxious/sad by making sure to share openly about your own stresses, too.
There is no doubting that a household full of remote workers sounds stressful, but it can also be full of unique opportunities to support one another, learn together, and bond more as a family.
These are just a few ideas to consider for families going back to school remotely, but I’m sure many of you have your own! What’s helped you navigate this challenging season? I would love to hear about your own experiences in the comments below.
To Your Health & Wellness,
Dr. Therese