STOP Impostor Syndrome by Building Confidence - NOW!
Confidence! If you asked a room full of people if they wanted to be more confident, maybe almost all of them would say YES.
When I spoke about Impostor Syndrome, many of you thought that building confidence was one of the main ways to combat it. But outside of just telling someone to “BE MORE CONFIDENT” how do you actually get there?
If you want more confidence to manage the times when you feel like an impostor, keep reading.
Get clear about what confidence is - and isn’t.
We have thought distortions about what confidence is.
What confidence isn’t:
It isn’t knowing all the answers
It isn’t making all the decisions on your own
It isn’t the absence of self-doubt, confusion, worry, or fear
It isn’t being the best or brightest person in the room
Confidence isn’t narcissism or attention-seeking
The truth is that we live in a society and culture that glorifies narcissism.
But confidence isn’t narcissism.
Confidence elevates.
Confidence is:
It’s deciding to take on a mantle of leadership
It’s self-awareness.
It’s knowing what you care about and who you care about
It’s knowing what your mission is
It’s humility: not making yourself small but not needing everyone to see you as big
it’s sharing your accomplishments because it serves a purpose other than to inflate your sense of self or need for attention
It’s doing the work
It’s not letting criticism be a decision-making voice in your head
Keeping promises to yourself = trusting yourself.
Confidence isn’t a trait.
Confidence is a practice.
Confidence is a choice.
2. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Fail - get rejected
Insecurity serves a protective role. If we never try, then we can never fail. If we keep ourselves small and don’t put ourselves out there, then we’ll never disappoint ourselves or others.
Confidence is born
3. Heal your self-talk related to confidence.
Don’t fire yourself - go until you get a NO
One of the main components of impostor syndrome is self-doubt or a lack of self-confidence.
What is confidence? How can we grow confidence within ourselves if we struggle with insecurity?
As women we are often told we have too much confidence or too little. This is RARELY criticized in men.
First I’d like to get your thoughts. Who are some women in the world you think of when you hear the word “confident”? Turn to someone you don’t know well and share an example of one person you see as confident and why.
Here are 6 ideas for how to choose confidence today:
Change your self talk
Decide you are the right person for the job. Don’t fire yourself. Go until you get a “no”.
You have nothing to prove.
Oftentimes, the things you feel most vulnerable and insecure about end up being sources of power.
Don’t make yourself small - we don’t do the world any favors when we make ourselves small.
The quickest way to be confident is to do what makes you uncomfortable. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Don’t say “I lack confidence” instead say “I am growing more confident.”
Don’t say “I am not enough” say “I am working on feeling enough.”
Don’t say “I don’t belong here” say “I am trying to remember that if I am in the room, then I belong in the room.”
Instead of “Fake it til you make it” say “Face it till you make it.”
We all have an inner critic and an inner cheerleader and you’ll become the one you give the most attention to.
For more, check out my video where I share simple tips on how to
STOP Impostor Syndrome by Building Confidence - NOW!
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